What then shall we say in response to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us. Romans 8:31
It was Lemony Horseradish who wrote it is much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling you, and I'm sure you understand why. When somebody simply tells you bad news you hear it once and that's the end of it. But when bad news is written down, whether in a letter or a newspaper article or in a felt tip pen each time you read it you feel as if You are receiving the bad news again and again. This blog was set out to tell the second part of my story from my first blog this is my story what's yours. But as I begin thinking about what to write or what should I say to the people who will Google my name and see all the bad and negative things that was written about me what can I say how can I explain to people about something that truth be told I didn't do as a pastor know I'm not perfect and I have done and made a lot of mistakes and poor choices in my life. But what can I say to you who is reading this what can I say about a reporter who decided to take something that was in my pass and write about it 10 years later from that time and after I had change my life and became a pastor and man of God and then tried to use that to not only embarrass me but also God kingdom. Now I could have used this blog to vent explain it rant and rage about it like I was going to do but as I begin to take my pen and write down on the paper God said clear to me Romans 8:31 that says what then shall we say in response to these things? what shall I say to respond to the Miami new times after all these years of not saying nothing after letting that newspaper article post on the Internet without me saying a word. What shall I say to the reporter that the devil used to try to embarrass and scandalise my name and calling as a pastor and man of God and to make my name bad as a pastor. What shall I say to every person who's reading this blog or who have read the newspaper articles about me what shall I say to those of you that has judge me and will judge me without even knowing me. What then shall we say in response to these things? All I have to say in response is this "IF GOD BE FOR ME WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME."
Monday, June 1, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
THIS IS MY STORY WHAT'S YOURS?
"Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows it's own rules."
I begin this blog by saying this is my story my pain my struggles my flaws my short comings my embarrassment because one thing for sure life has taught me, and that is we all have a closet we all have things we wish would never come out into the open things that we would take to the grave with us hoping that know one will ever find out about the nastiness we have. Well im sorry to say that's not my story and that is not my reality in my case because my nasty my ugly has been uncoverd. Now let me be godly honest and say not everything that has came out about me is true but for the most part im going to stand like a man and take accountability for my actions and I'm going to tell my own story and truth. Just Like Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat was a 2002 stand-up comedy film that after a number of personal crises in his life, Lawrence returns to the stage telling about his stinging social commentary and very personal reflections about his life. Well like Martin this is my personal commentary its my time to tell my story because don't know one knows my life better then me so let me tell it. Me growing up without a father caused me so much pain in my life as a child I was angry at my father because I didn't know him if he could stand in my face or walk right by me today I wouldn't know who he is a father that abandoned me until this very day. I began to fault and be angry with mom because I felt like after she had my other three little brother's she faught to try to keep there fathers in there life she even married one of my brothers father. So I felt like I was different I believe at that time I was treated different and it caused me to be very angry and very bitter at a young age in my life, not only at my dad but also at my mother and the truth is at every other women that came in my life. I felt like no matter how much I did to try to make a women love me or try to impress a women just like my mom it wouldn't be good enough. So I began to be a man that I thought a women would like me to be so I began to lie lie lie and lie some more lie about my age about job's lie about how I lived I just started living this lie even all the way down to my name I transformed myself into this man I believe women would want but I was hurt wounded because I was dealing with pain bitterness and abandonment issues. Feeling unloved, Rejection which in turn caused me to be angry not only with my dad not only with my mom not only with women but angry with "ME" I was very angry with myself. I was angry with women at one point in my life I hated women and I know you may be saying wow but this is my story uncut I was bitter with women. So I found myself at one point in a relationship that I realize now after many years later that how I felt about women she felt the same way about men. And I remember the first time she hit me now at this point I never in my life hit a women I never ever put my hands on a women but being hit at times by my mom and my mom allowing her boyfriends to hit me my mind-set became fight back. No one would ever put there hands on me again without me doing something back. No one would ever put there hands on me or abuse me again. So when I got older and this women at the time hit me and yes I hit her back the very thing that I was trying to stop and keep from happening to me I became, yes me being abuse to becoming a abuser trying to protect myself. And that began my many troubles in life because at this point she was use to being hit by a man but that was my first time ever being hit by a women when it comes to a relationship. So I find myself in this abusive relationship until finally it ended. So I thought because even though I got myself out of that relationship I pick up a pattern of fighting and abuse. Mine you again she was use to being abuse so when we would fight the police was never called no one never got involved. So now here I am free but yet chained with the pattern of fighting and abuse so every other relationship I found myself in I felt like I'll hit them before they hit me or ill fight which led me down a bad road of going to jail. I found myself going to jail more then I wanted to now this is my truth uncut so let me be clear and real and truthful because of the type of women I liked at the times I was lied on alot about things I honestly didn't do and to every women that maybe reading this I say to you please dont call the police on men that honestly haven't done anything wrong to you because your angry or bitter or mad it hurts his life in the future and yours if you still want to be with him after your done being angry because if you wrongfully have him locked up it keeps him from being able to get a job and therefore cant take care of his kids or you because you still want him in your life. So I was getting in trouble going to jail for honestly things I didn't do which in turn caused me to be even more angry with women. Until this women came into my life this women yes not going to say her name but she was a women that I thought I was going to marry she was saved believe in the Lord she loved God she wasn't perfect she had her issues but she was someone very special to me at that time. She came into my life she was much older then me but she taught me alot she help me understand things in life and God. With her I found myself going to church but I still had issues and sure enough it happened I fought this women, and it was very bad I found myself in the worst trouble I have ever been in, in my life. I found myself in jail looking at prison time and I remember saying to God laying on that bed in that jail cell I said Lord if you help me out of this if you help me no matter what ill serve you for the rest of my life and it was at that moment I begain to start my real walk and relationship with God. All the other times I was going to church I wasn't going for me I was going for her but there was a seed sowed into my life and I came came to God for myself. I repented and ask God to forgive me so I begain while in jail going to bible study and church services my heart begin to break and change I begin to allow the love of God to heal me from my childhood and things I felt done to me in life. I begin to forgive myself and I can say that me and my mom have the greatest relationship now I love her so much and me and that women remember the one the name I wouldn't give I haven't seen her in years but we did talk after God delivered me from that trouble charges was dropped. Me and her are good we talk and everything became ok with us but my story doesn't end here stay tune to my story
Part 2 is coming where I share and talk about this blog written about me by miami news times and there writer and how the devil has tried to use that post to stop me from doing God will and purpose for my life stay tuned for part 2.
I begin this blog by saying this is my story my pain my struggles my flaws my short comings my embarrassment because one thing for sure life has taught me, and that is we all have a closet we all have things we wish would never come out into the open things that we would take to the grave with us hoping that know one will ever find out about the nastiness we have. Well im sorry to say that's not my story and that is not my reality in my case because my nasty my ugly has been uncoverd. Now let me be godly honest and say not everything that has came out about me is true but for the most part im going to stand like a man and take accountability for my actions and I'm going to tell my own story and truth. Just Like Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat was a 2002 stand-up comedy film that after a number of personal crises in his life, Lawrence returns to the stage telling about his stinging social commentary and very personal reflections about his life. Well like Martin this is my personal commentary its my time to tell my story because don't know one knows my life better then me so let me tell it. Me growing up without a father caused me so much pain in my life as a child I was angry at my father because I didn't know him if he could stand in my face or walk right by me today I wouldn't know who he is a father that abandoned me until this very day. I began to fault and be angry with mom because I felt like after she had my other three little brother's she faught to try to keep there fathers in there life she even married one of my brothers father. So I felt like I was different I believe at that time I was treated different and it caused me to be very angry and very bitter at a young age in my life, not only at my dad but also at my mother and the truth is at every other women that came in my life. I felt like no matter how much I did to try to make a women love me or try to impress a women just like my mom it wouldn't be good enough. So I began to be a man that I thought a women would like me to be so I began to lie lie lie and lie some more lie about my age about job's lie about how I lived I just started living this lie even all the way down to my name I transformed myself into this man I believe women would want but I was hurt wounded because I was dealing with pain bitterness and abandonment issues. Feeling unloved, Rejection which in turn caused me to be angry not only with my dad not only with my mom not only with women but angry with "ME" I was very angry with myself. I was angry with women at one point in my life I hated women and I know you may be saying wow but this is my story uncut I was bitter with women. So I found myself at one point in a relationship that I realize now after many years later that how I felt about women she felt the same way about men. And I remember the first time she hit me now at this point I never in my life hit a women I never ever put my hands on a women but being hit at times by my mom and my mom allowing her boyfriends to hit me my mind-set became fight back. No one would ever put there hands on me again without me doing something back. No one would ever put there hands on me or abuse me again. So when I got older and this women at the time hit me and yes I hit her back the very thing that I was trying to stop and keep from happening to me I became, yes me being abuse to becoming a abuser trying to protect myself. And that began my many troubles in life because at this point she was use to being hit by a man but that was my first time ever being hit by a women when it comes to a relationship. So I find myself in this abusive relationship until finally it ended. So I thought because even though I got myself out of that relationship I pick up a pattern of fighting and abuse. Mine you again she was use to being abuse so when we would fight the police was never called no one never got involved. So now here I am free but yet chained with the pattern of fighting and abuse so every other relationship I found myself in I felt like I'll hit them before they hit me or ill fight which led me down a bad road of going to jail. I found myself going to jail more then I wanted to now this is my truth uncut so let me be clear and real and truthful because of the type of women I liked at the times I was lied on alot about things I honestly didn't do and to every women that maybe reading this I say to you please dont call the police on men that honestly haven't done anything wrong to you because your angry or bitter or mad it hurts his life in the future and yours if you still want to be with him after your done being angry because if you wrongfully have him locked up it keeps him from being able to get a job and therefore cant take care of his kids or you because you still want him in your life. So I was getting in trouble going to jail for honestly things I didn't do which in turn caused me to be even more angry with women. Until this women came into my life this women yes not going to say her name but she was a women that I thought I was going to marry she was saved believe in the Lord she loved God she wasn't perfect she had her issues but she was someone very special to me at that time. She came into my life she was much older then me but she taught me alot she help me understand things in life and God. With her I found myself going to church but I still had issues and sure enough it happened I fought this women, and it was very bad I found myself in the worst trouble I have ever been in, in my life. I found myself in jail looking at prison time and I remember saying to God laying on that bed in that jail cell I said Lord if you help me out of this if you help me no matter what ill serve you for the rest of my life and it was at that moment I begain to start my real walk and relationship with God. All the other times I was going to church I wasn't going for me I was going for her but there was a seed sowed into my life and I came came to God for myself. I repented and ask God to forgive me so I begain while in jail going to bible study and church services my heart begin to break and change I begin to allow the love of God to heal me from my childhood and things I felt done to me in life. I begin to forgive myself and I can say that me and my mom have the greatest relationship now I love her so much and me and that women remember the one the name I wouldn't give I haven't seen her in years but we did talk after God delivered me from that trouble charges was dropped. Me and her are good we talk and everything became ok with us but my story doesn't end here stay tune to my story
Part 2 is coming where I share and talk about this blog written about me by miami news times and there writer and how the devil has tried to use that post to stop me from doing God will and purpose for my life stay tuned for part 2.
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